pinoyloveletters.com

I wrote this 8 years ago when I fell in love with my best bud.

Para kay “sec-gen”

You entered my life rather abruptly, like the current that suddenly flooded an empty street. You came at the time when there was an empty seat. You sat down in my life and I never would want you to stand up and walk away.

Our friendship is one of a kind. “We met by chance and became friends by choice”. It was a fast – paced transition… from mere acquaintances to friends; sort of an ice cube melting into water. From then on, you silently travelled the road towards my unwilling heart.

Your killer eyes and smile make me survive the toughness of the day. At some point, the made me blush and at the most, they made me shiver. Your big brown eyes envelope my whole being, as if the night eating the light of the day. Your smile flashes like lightning and can “kill” me instantly. Your voice sound the sweetest notes and make my emotions dance for joy. Your body is comparable to Adonis’, just enough to warm my chilling soul. Your attitude brought you up my pedestal where I look up to you from time to time.

Then I suddenly found myself having you in my system, as if I was having an unquittable habit. Your face it seems, knows its way into my memory, for it went there and and remained there eversince. My sweet, innocent, brotherly love for you eventually and inevitably evolved into the foundation of something beautiful and enigmatic.

I find it inevitable not to yield to you. You are the fire that invites the moth, the magnet that attracts the metal. I really find it hard to resist your charm. It seems that I am wanting you more and more. You are like a drug that I am addicted to. I am glad that you were responding to my warmth even though it is not with the same temperature.

The pages of each day turn and I am deeply tucked into your mud. I felt afraid that I wouldn’t be able to get myself out of it. You held my hand and my gaze at one instant and I never would have let it go it it wasn’t necessary or embarrassing.

We “were getting to know each other a little too well”, and one of the saddest truths I have known is that your heart longs not for me but for someone else. My world crumbled as if shaken by a strong quake.

I tried to conquer the feelings and hide it in a deep mine, but it seems like the more i hide it, the deeper it grows. I tried to stop the flow but it is like a river that seeks its own way. My feelings seem like the seed that will grow eventually.

I am saddened by the thought that it wasn’t magic for both of us. You still whisper her name while I murmur yours. I long to hold your hand while you reach out for hers. Now, I know that there are times when dreams remain dreams, we have no power to make them come true. Sometimes, the relationship we WANT IS THE ONE WE CAN NEVER HAVE. Sometimes, two people cannot walk side by side. One of them has to go on while the other stays; that is why while you walk away, i stay here and wish upon the stars that someday… one day in your journey, you will long for home and hopefully find it here in my arms.

love,
spokesperson

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submitted by tillshesleeps.. salamat sa contribution!

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