pinoyloveletters.com

I wrote this 8 years ago when I fell in love with my best bud.

Para kay “sec-gen”

You entered my life rather abruptly, like the current that suddenly flooded an empty street. You came at the time when there was an empty seat. You sat down in my life and I never would want you to stand up and walk away.

Our friendship is one of a kind. “We met by chance and became friends by choice”. It was a fast – paced transition… from mere acquaintances to friends; sort of an ice cube melting into water. From then on, you silently travelled the road towards my unwilling heart.

Your killer eyes and smile make me survive the toughness of the day. At some point, the made me blush and at the most, they made me shiver. Your big brown eyes envelope my whole being, as if the night eating the light of the day. Your smile flashes like lightning and can “kill” me instantly. Your voice sound the sweetest notes and make my emotions dance for joy. Your body is comparable to Adonis’, just enough to warm my chilling soul. Your attitude brought you up my pedestal where I look up to you from time to time.

Then I suddenly found myself having you in my system, as if I was having an unquittable habit. Your face it seems, knows its way into my memory, for it went there and and remained there eversince. My sweet, innocent, brotherly love for you eventually and inevitably evolved into the foundation of something beautiful and enigmatic.

I find it inevitable not to yield to you. You are the fire that invites the moth, the magnet that attracts the metal. I really find it hard to resist your charm. It seems that I am wanting you more and more. You are like a drug that I am addicted to. I am glad that you were responding to my warmth even though it is not with the same temperature.

The pages of each day turn and I am deeply tucked into your mud. I felt afraid that I wouldn’t be able to get myself out of it. You held my hand and my gaze at one instant and I never would have let it go it it wasn’t necessary or embarrassing.

We “were getting to know each other a little too well”, and one of the saddest truths I have known is that your heart longs not for me but for someone else. My world crumbled as if shaken by a strong quake.

I tried to conquer the feelings and hide it in a deep mine, but it seems like the more i hide it, the deeper it grows. I tried to stop the flow but it is like a river that seeks its own way. My feelings seem like the seed that will grow eventually.

I am saddened by the thought that it wasn’t magic for both of us. You still whisper her name while I murmur yours. I long to hold your hand while you reach out for hers. Now, I know that there are times when dreams remain dreams, we have no power to make them come true. Sometimes, the relationship we WANT IS THE ONE WE CAN NEVER HAVE. Sometimes, two people cannot walk side by side. One of them has to go on while the other stays; that is why while you walk away, i stay here and wish upon the stars that someday… one day in your journey, you will long for home and hopefully find it here in my arms.

love,
spokesperson

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submitted by tillshesleeps.. salamat sa contribution!

To Jing as in Bonjing,

Silence is indeed deafening. I am unsure if you choose not to include me in your day or you are just too busy to pay attention, but there has been too much silence that I am deafened, worried that I might not hear you the same way you do not hear me these days.

The last thing I need is for us to have a wall between us. I miss conversing with you, i miss the times you practice your listening skills by listening to my ramblings, and most of all i miss spending time on nothingness with you.

I hope that one of these days, our paths will cross again, and we will be like we used to be, if not better.

I miss you…

tillshesleeps (feb3,3006)

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submitted by tillshesleeps.. salamat sa contribution!

To Ayang,

I thought I saw you last day but when this girl I turned a little it wasn’t you after all. I really hope it was you so that I could have a chance to be with you and have a chance to talk to you and asked you, how you’ve been? what’s new with you?

After all I came to realize that I was just missing you! and I keep on asking my self why? when I thought I’ve already got over you. We are friends and we will remain friends. But this feeling insist that it’s more than that, my care for you and thoughts of you wasn’t changed since then the time that I’ve realized what you are to me.

Loving you is wrong! yeah! I very much know that and aware of that! I guess you know some of the reasons why, the rest— let’s just leave it there!

Now I’m with all my strength to move on to a feeling that I am comfortable of……..

But still I will be around,.. a friend that you used to have, a friend that wont let you down, a friend you can lean on to, and a friend who loves you more than any friend can do. I am so happy that you exist in my life yang….I will always love you! friend!

from G.B.

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teka lang, ngayon ko lang napansin, itong ayang ba na to ay yung ayang din dun sa previous post? hmm mukhang lakas tama mo tsong. sige tuloy lang. walang basagan ng trip. — ed

Bhel,

Hello!!! I know you’ll be surprise about this but no matter how you react on this, this will only serve only one purpose, this maybe a long, long shot…but who knows…maybe this is the right time to say everything and find it in his heart to understand what were said and not said by this letter co’z after this the chance that we’ve seen each other again was going to be the month of December… Bhel I am glad and very much thankful that I’ve meet you (for the friendship, it is already the bonus!) You’re such a nice person in and out, and there’s no doubt why you have so many friends which love you the most of who you are and I want you to know that I’m one of them now! And I’m sorry for that! Yes, I was a silent spectator in your life. I was the one who love you profoundly although it is very important to me the friendship that we had but you know I didn’t wish this feelings that I had for you…but I can’t tolerate this feelings, actually I really hate this feelings it’s very hard for me, I really fell in love with you, How I wished I didn’t fall for your sweet smile, your soft voice and witty lines… how got to this place where I am now, I can’t explain, every night before my day ends my last thoughts are of you, even when I am with my friends, there had been times that I asked myself why is this happening? No matter how I try to teach my heart it still longs for you, you seemed to have melted all my defences and sanity as well! I am a funny and very jolly person 75% all of them maybe the others are all after I’ve learned what life is…maybe its all about to handle with much care and less care. I was a friend of yours and that all you wanted for me ever was. You said you didn’t want to ruin the special bond that we had by committing to something more than a friendship, but in the end I’m still here taking everything and risk everything although there were no chances at all but still hoping…Sometimes, I just wish you were one of those girls who just take the longest time to decide about anything. Someone I can suspend my hopes for; wishing that maybe, just maybe, at the end of everything, you’ll choose me, but I know your not that kind of woman, I know for the others or maybe for you it is a corny act by a person like me to do things like this.. But this is me.. I don’t know why I am so determined to be your man and to win to your heart maybe the reason why is I Love You… I’m sorry Bhel for doing this, but this is the only and the best way that I can express my feelings to say the words that I want to say even this is only a piece of paper but it still gives me strength to express everything.. I said that I let the time decide… yes Time others say is the best healer of all, I’m just about to believe it, fate, though, has a way of going through it in a shortcut. Everyday I get clues from the small things that come my way…I’ve learned to accept that I probably want, is not meant to be. Gradually the hatred subsides, the pain becomes bearable, and slowly, hope rises from within, like the morning sun, just like what I feel for you I LOVE YOU BHEL I’m so happy for what is happening right now even that you know that I have this feelings for you, your still my friend and I’m still your friend but a friend that loves you solemnly take care always and God bless…..

Love lots, Cris

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(to gab, oo nga no?) aba ayus to ah. pinag combine lahat ng mga sulat dito? pero sige hayaan na natin to. mukhang nakapulot ng aral. imitation is the best form of flattery nga diba. pero ugags to ah. di ko napansin. sensya na. busy – ed