Archive for June, 2007

midnight

Thursday, June 28th, 2007

to shiver at the thought of leaving. how lonely could this get? grab an arm in this sea of melancholy. a street so busy. of the faceless, a smile shines brightly. eyes on me. here take my hand. lean on my shoulder. take this road together. we’re halfway through. a light so bright! in truth we thrive.. be my guest, more than family. smoke clouds through the night. half emptied glasses. paint the sky with dreams.

i can’t be alone.

we all shiver at the thought of leaving. we’re not as strong as we thought. grab a piece of my soul. in this sea of humanity. a world in fury. of the faceless, your smile shines brightly. all eyes on me. raindrops on my face. air in my lungs. life at its fullest! be here. ’til eternity.

we’ll never be lonely.

reposted from jobarclix.blog-city.com Thursday, 15 January 2004

why

Tuesday, June 19th, 2007

that when i look out the window it doesnt mean im thinking of you. when my thoughts drift away i turn my head to look out to where my dreams were made. that when i close my eyes it doesnt mean im thinking of you. im just tired and my thoughts drift away to a time when i was happy. that when i smile it doesnt mean im contented with what i have. i try not to take things for granted and the small details of life amaze me. that when i cry it doesnt mean im in despair. ive lived a life in melancholy and ive got no tears left for sorrow. that when im happy it doesnt mean ive found you. ive been trying not to wait and every sunrise brings hope that the final day is near. that when im quiet it doesnt mean im thinking of you. i listen. i anxiously wait. got to be strong now. take a step closer.

————————

hahay. taken from here.

yet another love poem

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

tapping you
behind your
left shoulder
my fingers
run down
the length
of your
long sleeve
stopping at
the cuff
measuring the
safest distance
between love
and friendship
and the
nearness of
your hand
to mine

——————–

another one from singapore.. nawiwili na to ah. para kanino kaya to?

autumn in japan

Saturday, June 16th, 2007

i wrote this for someone. he loved it but he didn’t know it was for him.. i was in japan back then..
“autumn in japan”

autumn finds me lost
in between streets
of this cold place
that remembers you

i walk upon leaves
that had fallen
like my dreams of you –
unheard, abandoned

in the wake of
my aimless wandering
the leaves are tossed and turned
like my despair

————————-

from someone in singapore.. dami inlab ngayon ah.

para kay kraft

Thursday, June 14th, 2007

Beloved Kraft,

Tonight is one of those nights I wade through memories of you. It has been a year since we created those memories. Try as I may, I can never remove you out of me. Never completely. Everything that surrounds me reminds me of you. Necklaces. Books. Shoes. Clothes neatly hung in the closet. Dirty clothes scattered around me. Pillows. The bed. Piles of anything. Disarray of anything. Everything.

Yes, everything. You never created memories with me of everything. Except maybe for taxi cabs, tequila shot glasses, beers, cellphones, dimly lit restaurants and unventured hotel rooms. But I, I created memories with you of everything. I had dreams of us together involving everything. From trips to sugar-fine beaches in Cebu and Iloilo, escapades to the majestic mountains and caves of Sagada, Bontoc and Banaue, getaways to the mystical old towns of Batanes and Vigan. To holding hands along the avenues of Ayala and Makati, tight embraces under an umbrella on a rainy night in The Fort, stolen kisses on long walks in the stretch of Musashi-Kosugi. Up to me cooking my tocino-tasting adobo and you your spicy meal concoctions I’ve only heard of, us leaving the dishes for the morning and retiring playfully on our enchanted bedroom perfumed by jasmine-scented candles and burning incense. Yes, I created such memories for us. And more…

You see, I dreamt so much for us. Yet you never saw it. You went and played your games. I played it for a while too but I only ended up losing. Every time. All the time.

But a year has passed. I am only left with memories of you and I. Memories, I said, I created for us two without you knowing they ever existed. They were waiting to come true. For a year.

As the past year inched towards this time, this night, you seem to drift farther away from me. Distance does help in forgetting. But I’ve only forgotten what I felt for you. My dreams remain. And they always will until someone sees it and makes them come true. That someone can still be you. Or not.

Renembering,
030303

————————-

mula sa isa sa mga pinkamaganda sa singapore.. thanks ev. send your letters to pinoyloveletters@gmail.com

football

Thursday, June 14th, 2007

Sometimes, I just wish you were one of those girls who just take the longest time to decide about anything. Someone I can suspend my hopes for; wishing that maybe, just maybe, at the end of everything, you’ll choose me.But you’re right.You are not that kind of woman.I’m still trying to figure you out.It is perhaps madness that drives me to hold on to whatever this is that I’m feeling.You told me we can hope that it’s just the hopeless folly of the young.We could both be right.And in a few years, we will be sitting at a football pub together. I still won’t understand any part of the game but hopefully, by that time, I won’t have to pretend that I’m enjoying it so I can impress you.If you’re reading this letter, it would mean that you chose to say goodbye.My way.At the airport. Thank you.

———–
This is a 6 year old note.The receiver lost a wallet a month later and lost the note.It was recently emailed by the sender who still has the draft in his possession.He no longer pretends that he likes football.But they still have dinner together when he’s in town.She talks about literature. He teaches the subject; devoting 2 sessions to “lost love poetry.”

———–

posted as is. got this thru pinoyloveletters@gmail.com. many thanks to the golden benjamins.

busy

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007

sharon,

A bottle of alcohol is more than I need. For my mind to calm down. Ive been thinking of the world and me and you. We’re over, more than done. It’s 3am and I cant sleep. Thoughts of you haunt me. I miss the complexity of it all. The networked problems. Of hearts entwined. painfully. Of imaginations beyond control. How our minds clashed. Yet we spoke not a word. Everything is left unsaid. It’s funny how we kept ourselves busy of other things to avoid ourselves. When all we want is each other. When all we need is each other. Ive been thinking of asking you why. But I don’t see the point. You tell me first. Why should we want each other? Why should we need each other?

gabby
—————–

therapy magbasa ng mga lumang sulat.

cathedral of pain

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007

sharon,

you walk fast across the street. your hair flying so freely. blown gently by the wind. you greet the sunshine with a smile on your face. ever so happy. ever so carefree. you look so fresh. lots of skin to bare. you fit well in jeans. you cross the street so calmly. cars screech. tires burning with desire. for you. you live in a world of your own. some castle in a magic kingdom. You sway to the music that is your soul. and the lyrics, your life. Only your mind can ever know. I call on you but you never hear me. You left me,lost in your paradise. Everyday I reach out to you. I see you walk fast across the street. Your hair flying so freely. Blown gently by the breeze. You greet the world with a smile on your face. Ever so happy. Ever so carefree. And you never see me. Or even hear me. But ill wait for you. In this cathedral of pain.

gabby
————————

waw bigat.

send in your love letters to pinoyloveletters@gmail.com iyakan na!

swiss ilocos connection

Monday, June 11th, 2007

swiss castle prince,

I am a believer, a dreamer, a lover… a disgruntling irony of sorts. I believe in everything and nothing. I feel, I love, I falter, I get burned. I see beauty in the ugliest of things, but I recognize trash even when it’s not apparent. I believe that in my quest for life’s offerings, I’ll find something in the end. If I find nothing, that would still be something. I’ve mastered the art of acceptance, and with that my heart will be always safe.

ms ilocos

—————-

dear ms ilocos,

I drove last night, and stayed at a beautfiful place by, the ocean. Saw a beautiful sunset, and dreamed of you at my side my love! A great place to clear my mind, and be ready to accept the great things about to happen in my life. I wrote you something last night while there…

You are not on earth to make things happen. You are not on earth to spread the love. You are not on earth to make it a better place or to learn acceptance of the things you cannot change. You are not on earth to find your soulmate or your purpose. You are not on earth to put the needs of others before your own. And you are most certainly not on earth, Ms Ilocos, to suffer, pay penance, be tested, or judged.

Did I leave anything out?

You are on earth…my love, my goddess, my soulmate, my partner, my soon to be wife, my sexy princess…because in your loftiest state of being, perched high above the wonderment, at the pinnacle of your glory, you wondered what it would be like, even fleetingly, to believe in limits.

swiss castle prince

———————

hahay.

sharon vs gabby

Monday, June 11th, 2007

hi sharon,

just got this mail. dunno if this is void after our last conversation. but here’s my take on this.

do yourself a favor, say this to my face. as you’ve said, you have to be rude, then be rude by saying it to my face. don’t give a threat unless you’re willing to stand by it. don’t say truths when you still need to convince yourself about it. if in doubt, i suggest you keep it to yourself, coz the more you tell me about how you feel, i get more convinced that you’re living a lie. so why did you cry? no big deal in crying? just swept emotions? you never cried over your other exes. you are as cold as a rock. it cant be that you dont know.

i know, these things i say will spark a new friction between us, but the hell i care. we’re way past reading between the lines.

i will get by sharon, dont worry. i got the message loud and clear. i just thought i’d give it my one last try before everything is too late. because i believed it was something worth fighting for.

but for your sake, quit lying to yourself.

gabby

———

sharoncuneta@yahoo.com said:

This will be my last say on this subject unless you
want me out of your life completely. There are things
I feel I need to clarify for both our sake. First,
there is no ounce of anger in me towards you. What’s
done is done gabby. I am never the type to hold
grudges. You know that… We don’t “have” to talk about
it because there really is nothing to talk about
anymore. You want me back. I can’t gabby. Believe it or
not, I am happy now. You might think that kiko is not
a factor in this whole telenovela but he is. I don’t
want to leave him now because I don’t want to hurt
him. I want to stay with him. I’m not going to delude
myself that what I have with kiko now is the “pangkamatayan”
kinda love. It’s only been a month after all but I
want to stay to know if it could lead to that and
maybe even more… What we had gabby was incredible but I
don’t feel the same way as I did before. Not now… If I
have to be rude to be nice, then be it. Why you cant
reach me? Probably because the connection we once had
is not in mutual territories anymore. I am happy now.
My god gabby, I want you to have what I have now but I
can’t give it to you. We can’t be friends..not now.
Good bye gabby.

sharon

——————————–

sharon and gabby now lead happy separate lives.